by Sadee Bee
Previously published in Sage Cigarettes Magazine, Sept. 2022
The years have not been kind / each sunrise / sunset /
arduously pushing me along / I longed to slumber the years
away / to slip / into the sweet blackness of the abyss /
No afterlife / only quiet emptiness / peace /
The Maiden wore a cloak of melancholy / kept me company /
obscured my vision / from the years ahead of me /
Years I did not want / did not believe I would ever see /
Then the cloak of melancholy / finally slipped away //
So she silently / shrugged on the robe of apathy /
With her / existence / just was /
Alive but always a little numb / her company a waking slumber /
her hands / passed me little pills in many hues /
Only to dull the senses / to halt the tears /
to keep me moving / through a world that pained me so /
I saw the sunrise / and the sunset /
But felt no warmth / no meaning / from either /
While this Maiden did not bring me joy / she helped me
survive //
One morning / I rose with the sun /
felt its warmth on my skin / I saw her in the mirror /
Emerging from my widow’s peak / she wore the armor of gray /
There she was / Maiden of Gray /
of time / of ages / ending and beginning /
She smiled at me / offered her hand /
and whispered / I’m proud of you /
In that moment I felt joy / all those heavy years /
a weight finally lifted from my chest / O’, Maiden of Gray /
Despite all that tried to keep me away / I made it to you /
Stay by my side / if only to remind me that I am still alive //
Sadee Bee (They/She) is a queer artist and writer inspired by magic, strange dreams, and creepy vibes. Sadee is the Visual Arts Editor for Sage Cigarettes Magazine and the author of Pupa: Growth & Metamorphosis (Alien Buddha Press) and Magic Lives In Girls (kith books). Bee can be found on the web at linktr.ee/SadeeBee.
