by Candria Slamin
I remember that night vividly. March 3, 2017, 12:00AM. I was a junior in college, living in a dorm room by myself, sitting on the provided vinyl mattress, which I had unceremoniously plopped into the middle of my floor. With frantic fingers, I scrolled through the Nintendo Store on my Wii-U, looking for it. And there it was, in all its glory:
Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild.
After a two year delay, it was finally here. I punched in my card info, and hit the “buy” button with all the power my index finger could muster. And then, the deed was done. Breath of the Wild was downloading. It took all night (thanks to shitty college Wi-fi) but when I woke up the next morning, it was sitting on the homepage of the Wii-U. Where it belonged. At last.
For the next week I played non-stop. I fell prey to all the early-game death traps (bears, cliffs, Lynels, that stupid Guardian in the Great Plateau). I restarted the game once, upon the realization that I could do it better with more experience. And then, about a year later, I restarted it again after I got my Nintendo Switch. Over time I logged anywhere between 150-200 hours into the game exploring, doing shrines, and fighting Blight Ganon after Blight Ganon. And yet, I have a confession to make…
It took me the next three years to actually finish the game.
By the game’s 3rd anniversary, I’d found and completed ~104 shrines, found 11 of the memories, and had finished a good majority of the 76 side quests. But, I hadn’t finished any of the main quest line for Gerudo Town’s Divine Beast. By March 2020, the large, mechanical camel was still stomping around in the desert. I didn’t know why. I had no idea why I couldn’t bring myself to complete the game. When asked by gamer friends, I kept saying it was because I don’t like stealth missions, which is why I hadn’t even looked at the Yiga Clan’s hideout. But after three years, could that have really even been a viable reason?
In the Historical Event Hellscape that was 2020, I had a lot of time to sit and think about anything and everything. My constantly self-reflective mind was working overtime as I ran out of activities to keep it occupied. And when the three year anniversary of Breath of the Wild’s release passed me by, I wondered again why it still sat unfinished on my Switch. Maybe it really was just my extreme dislike of stealth missions in video games. Or maybe it was something deeper. Maybe I just didn’t want the feeling of exploration and adventure to ever end. Especially at that point of time, with the release date of the sequel up in the air. Perhaps in those three years, I’d gotten so attached to the game that finishing it (and 100%-ing it, as I was seemingly on track to do) felt too much like saying goodbye to a dear friend. Perhaps even, I was worried that once it’s done, I’d never want to pick it up again and that feeling of exploration and adventure would never return.
Who knew? I certainly didn’t. About two weeks after the release date anniversary, I sat my then girlfriend down in our shared room. I told her I wasn’t allowed to leave until the game was finished. Three hours later, the credits rolled. By the time I’d finally looked at the main plot of the game, my Link was so powerful that even the endgame enemies were a cakewalk. While I sat there excited as all hell to finally see the ending (and secret ending) cutscene, a part of me returned to the question of why it took me so long to get to that point. And now, two years later, I still don’t really know.
Maybe it really was the stealth after all.
Candria Slamin (she/they) is shaking and baking from Virginia, USA. When she’s not being a poet, they’re busy being a giant nerd on the Internet. Find them on Twitter at @candyslam_.
